Bottom line…it sucks!

7 Apr

A week late on this…I let my two little tootsies distract me for a few days.


But now I’m back to regular life and ready to lay it all out there. And let me say off the bat, it’s not going to be all rainbows and sunshine this time.

I set a goal, an audacious goal. One I really did think was possible…and I did not reach it.

I feel so many different emotions. Most of them came to me throughout the Opens, after week 2 through the end. Hitting me at different times, in different forms, for different reasons. But then they all hit me at once on Tuesday.

Shock. Sadness. Disappointment. Anger. More sadness.

Shock was probably the biggest one. I just had so much faith in myself. I really, truly believed I could do it. And I couldn’t. That hurts.

Sadness was the second most powerful emotion I felt. It came mostly in the form of tears. A lot of them. You may think I’m tough, but I’m a cry baby a lot of the time. It’s just how I express my feelings and I’m okay with that.

After things started to “not look so great” I tried my best to stay positive. I think I succeeded at that. Now that it’s over though I feel that I can let out my true, raw, unfiltered emotions. After going to Regionals the last three years, I am now in “off season” in April. And it sucks. Bottom line.

What now?

What we do with our disappointments, our failures, our bumps in the road, is what makes us who we are.

I know deep down that I did my best. Every second during all of those workouts I did everything I could do get the best score/time I could. And it wasn’t enough.

But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be proud of what I did accomplish does it? I can only control how I perform. I can’t control anyone else. (and man do I wish I could because there are so bad ass ladies in the North Central region!)

I left it all out there. I trained hard all year. I worked hard throughout the five weeks of the Opens. I hit personal goals along the way. And I’m proud that I can say that.

What do you do when you fall short of something you imagined you could do? Do you sulk? Desire pity from others? Mope around? Make excuses? Or do you face your feelings, reflect on them and move on? Understand and acknowledge what you can do differently, what you can do better, and what you did do great. Learn.

We can’t look back. All we can do is look forward. Learn from our past and make sure our future is exceptional.


(I thought this was appropriate as I just starting taking a few bikram classes =) More to come on that!)

Until next time…be unstoppable.



Hope Vs. Reality

24 Mar

As humans most of us are raised to have hope in our hearts. To hope for a bright future, to hope for good things to come, to hope that people mean well, to hope that the world is a great place, to hope for miracles.

Some of us grow up with more of that hope inside of us than others.

I grew up with a lot of it, always an optimist. From a young age I radiated faith. I always believed the best in people, that amazing things were ahead of me and that anything was possible.

As I have traveled along this journey of life I have learned thus far that at some points I must be realistic.

Does being realistic make me a pessimist. It seems it would be that way since it is the antonym for optimism.

One of our greatest challenges in life is the balancing act of hope vs reality. When do we allow the scale to keep tipping towards hope and when do we succumb to the fact that it’s going to weigh towards the reality side?

It’s quite the balancing act.

Is holding on to a glimmer of a hope a human blessing or a human flaw?

Does it set us up for happiness and success or great sadness and disappointment?

I don’t know if this makes me foolish or brave, but I’m going to channel my young, ambitious, wishful self and continue to believe.

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One more week. I currently sit 62nd. Team CFD is 42nd.

#northcentral #2015opens #teamcfd #shitgotrealthisyear #allwecandoisourbest #believe #hulkbaby #smile #glimmerofhope

Never Stop Smiling

17 Mar


Comparison can be perceived as evil, but competition is not. These two very similar ideas can create very different feelings and outcomes.

Comparison: to examine (two or more objects, ideas, people, etc.) in order to note similarities and differences

Competition: to strive to outdo another for acknowledgment, a prize, supremacy,profit, etc.; engage in a contest

When you look at the definition of them you can clearly see the difference, but they coexist in most aspects of our lives.

Markella, my person (Greys reference for those who watch), asked me yesterday for her weekly progress update on the Opens. I responded with, “I haven’t looked at my ranking yet, I’ll let you know tomorrow” and she responded with, “Not where do you stand! How did it go? Like you happy with it? Don’t base your success on other people’s scores. (Even though that’s exactly what competition is)”

That hit home to me. It’s so hard when you are competing to not compare yourselves to all of the other athletes around you. Just like she said, that is competition. How do we separate the competition results with our personal results and the feelings/emotions we take away from it all?

Did you try for your first muscle up this week? Did you get one? If not, do you feel like you failed?

You shouldn’t. Think back to where you were 6 months ago, 1 month ago, a week ago… Are you closer to getting one than you were then?


The only worthwhile comparison we should make in life is of ourselves. Are we making personal progress, are we moving in the right direction, are we taking steps in our journey to better ourselves?

If you answered yes then half the battle is done. If that answers is no, then you need to reflect on your path thus far and see what changes you can make in the future to ensure personal development.

No matter the road you are taking or the destination you are headed towards, you just have to keep moving forward. Look back only to reflect and learn, don’t dwell. Your journey can take turns, hit speed bumps, your end goal can shift and transform, as long as you give it your all each and every day good things will come.


Update: 61 in the region individually, 37 Crossfit Defined

2 more weeks to move up that leaderboard. #teamcfd #believe #nevergiveup #neverstopsmiling

1265536_467694636678897_434061228_o#throwback #theoneandonlynickalex #throwinthev

Expectation Hangover

10 Mar

Expectation Hangover=Undesirable feelings and thoughts that occur when things don’t turn out the way you wanted them to.

Feelings of Expectation Hangovers=sad, depressed, bummed out, angry, disappointed, discouraged, confusion, denial, regret, and more…


What is the cure of an Expectation Hangover?

Buck up. Stop wallowing and turn it into something great.

What do you do when you set a goal for yourself that you do not reach? When you have this expectation of yourself and you fail to meet it? Has this happened to you?

I have. I did on Sunday. I’m currently recovering from my expectation hangover. It sucks.

Life doesn’t always give us what we want, for a reason. The way out of an expectation hangover is to embrace the experience and learn from it.

I recently started listening to podcast, a big thank you to Rachel for introducing me to  them. A few weeks ago I listened to Christine Hassler on Expectation Hangovers. (This came from ‘The One You Feed”, my favorite one!). What she was saying really hit home to me. (I highly recommend finding it and listening to her entire podcast). My favorite quote from her podcast is, “If we slam the door on an Expectation Hangover, we miss out on walking through a doorway of transformation!”.

We can’t change what has already been done. BUT we can decide on how we move forward.

Try to rid the thoughts of regret, judgement, shoulda/coulda/wouldas and focus on that fact that you did the best you could, you did not do anything wrong, and your self-worth does not come from the result of this one occurrence.

I have also been reading one of my new favorite books, “The Invictus Mindset”. Ironically enough the chapter I am on right now is about self talk. Positive self talk is one of the most important aspects to anyone’s success, athlete or not. That little voice inside your head has more power over you than you might think.

It fits perfectly with expectation hangovers. You have to be sure all self talk is positive. aeaea1eb3ca5ae86de61b84c5d50baaf

Know you can, believe you can, trust that you can, have faith.

Every day is a new day.

Learn from yesterday to make the best of today.


2 weeks done. 3 to go. I’m sitting at 47th and CFD is 41st.

Definitely not satisfied with this, but I’ll I can do is know I am doing my best. And continue to do my best. Good things will come, I feel it.

#timetokickitupanotch #highgear #turbotime #roadtotop20 #2015opens #northcentralregion #teamcfd #crossfit #traininvictus #positiveselftalk #learn #grow #beabetterhuman #hardworkpaysoff



3 Mar

I won’t go into excuses/reasons why I haven’t blogged in over a year, I am just going to start again.

There are no excuses in life. You do what you do or you don’t. And it’s our choice to decide where priorities lie.

This past year I have dedicated a lot of my life to training with the goal in mind of making it to Regionals as an individual athlete. It feels a bit selfish because I have nothing but love for the entire CFD community and team, but it’s just something I really feel I want to accomplish. I set my sights on it and now I see if the hard work will pay off.

What a year it’s been; a lot of PRs, great training days, some minor injuries, some bad training days and most importantly fun times, all along side amazing training buddies! No matter what the outcome of this years Opens is, I can say that every minute I’ve put in, every thing I’ve sacrificed, every moment spent with my training partners, every ounce of pain I’ve felt from it has all been worth it. What an amazing journey it has been.

Now starts the second leg.

We just finished up the first week of the Opens. It is not going to be easy this year. Every year the competition gets better, the workouts get harder and now the change in Opens/Regional rules and standings-it’s going to be tough. But isn’t that what we all want…to be challenged. I am up for the challenge. Are you?

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Nothing good comes from your comfort zone. And nothing GREAT comes easy. So put in the work, dedicate yourself to something, and see amazing things happen.

Each and every day.


Currently sitting at 46th in the North Central Region and CFD is 41st. Staying positive and ready to put in some work these next 4 weeks. Just going to keep working hard and see our names travel up that leaderboard.

I am so proud of everyone at CFD for their amazing accomplishments this year and in week 1. And I couldn’t be more blessed to have such an amazing support system! Thank you. Keep up the hard work guys-Good things are going to come for all of us, I can feel it =)

#teamcfd #powerofpositivethinking #dowork #bebetter #believe #traininvitcus #liftlaughlove #crossfit #2015opens #teammatesforever #support #dowhatyoulove #hardworkpaysoff



Bad With The Good

3 Dec

Pain and Sacrifice are inevitable.

What types are you willing to endure?

We all talk about the things we want out of life. Everyone’s list is a little different, but I think for the most part everyone could answer a few things they know they want in their future. ‘The Good’

The real questions we should ask ourselves are, “What am I willing to sacrifice? What types of pain am I willing to feel in order to have the things I want?”

Pain and suffering is going to happen-whether we like it or not, it is a fact of life. Pain can be in a simple, less aggressive way, and then unfortunately it can also lie in the catastrophic things as well-most of which are unavoidable. Same goes for suffering.

When you are reading this and asking yourselves these questions I want you to think about pain and suffering on the light end of the spectrum.

For example-when shopping around for an apartment or home we all have “NEEDS” and “WANTS”. And then there is the list of “THINGS I SUPPOSE I CAN LIVE WITHOUT”. Would it be amazing to have an in-unit washer and dryer, yes! Can I survive life without it right now at the ripe age of 27? (Wow, first time I’ve typed that, weird) yes I can.  So there you are-not having that amenity is a “suffering” I am willing to tolerate because the rest of the apartment is worth it.

Now relate that to something else in your life…

Your job. Your relationships. Your home.

We’ve all heard the “take the good with the bad” saying right? Well the good should still outweigh the bad. And the bad can have varying levels of intensity. I say it should be turned around; you have to take the bad with the good. We all want the good, but often forget about the bad or don’t want acknowledge it.

It’s there. Think about it.

What are you willing to give up in order to have the things you want?

What things will you sacrifice in order to live the life you’ve always wanted?

Once we can all answer those questions will pure confidence, we will be that much closer to truly living.

I am not trying to be negative here either. But I do think this is an aspect of life that many of us don’t think about. If we can tackle the ‘pain and suffering’ head on, then in the end we will get to where we want to go.

One step at a time. One suffering, one success, one mistake, one joy, the good AND the bad.

Here’s to late night blogging, post nail painting, while drinking a glass of wine in front of our Christmas Tree =)


#lauratime #loveourtree #thinkdeep #redwinedoesthebodygood


19 Nov

So often we allow others to dictate how we feel, think, and act. But why? We are in control of all of those things; our emotions, our actions, our thoughts…they are ALL our own.

You and only you can control your emotions. Yes, there are things that will want to make you feel differently but ultimately it is up to you whether you allow those feelings to change. Is it too cold? Was your boss mean today? Did someone cut you off while you were driving today? Was the check-out lady slow? How will you let these little situations effect your emotions?

Will you give the weather, your boss, the random driver and check out lady the power to interfere with your day? Will you give them the power to alter your mood? You can say no. You have control. Keep it.

I just finished reading an article sent to me by the lovely Raddis, about being mentally strong. I tend to have a lot of emotions, and by tend to, I mean I do. =) I can’t help it, it is who I am. With that being said though I am always striving to find emotional balance in my life. I think one thing that makes me who I am is that I have a lot of feelings, and I care a lot. But there are times when my emotions can allow other people to have control over me and I think that is where the work comes in- continuous work to become and stay mentally strong.

As I read this article there were moments when I thought, “Okay, I’m good at this.” Or “Okay, I don’t do that so that’s good.” And then there were moments when I said things to myself like, “oooohhhh, yeah I definitely need to work on that” or “Yup, that’s me. I do that”. Life’s about balance.

This quote stuck out to me as well.

“Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.”

I so often want to make everyone happy. I am sure there are many of you out there that feel that way. One thing I’ve been working on for a lot the past 3-4 years, is recognizing the times it is appropriate to put myself first.  And also knowing when I don’t come first, when my career, my significant other, a family member, a friend, a stranger comes first. There are times for both.

Choosing yourself at times DOES NOT make you selfish. It makes you human. You deserve to be happy just as much as the next person. Don’t forget that.

Do something once a day for yourself. Purely. Only because you want to. I dare you.  Can you?

Some might say that being mentally strong means living life with less emotion. I don’t believe that. I don’t believe that in order to be mentally tough you have to be cold or rude. My goal in life is to be mentally tough and still the same loving, happy, outgoing women I was raised to be. Balanced. 27 years and still working…but I know I am on the right path. Are you?

Who do you want to be?


Life is about constantly trying to better yourself. Evolve. Grow. Learn. Educate. Repeat. Repeat Again.

Happy Tuesday =)

If you are interested here is the article on being mentally strong.

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