There is NO Crying in Crossfit!

2 Oct

So this is my therapeutic attempt to rid all emotions connected with muscle ups.  I don’t know what it is about them, okay maybe I do and I’ll get into that, but they get to me so much. I actually cried yesterday while I was working on them. I can’t believe I am actually going to post this, and I am embarrassed to admit it, but you are all a part of me and my growth now so I’m just going to throw it out there. It wasn’t like a ball my eyes out, sobbing kind of crying, but there were definitely tears surfacing. What the heck???

Why? Why do they do this to me? It kind of hit me this morning…Muscle ups are something that when I first started Crossfit, I never thought I’d be able to do but always wanted.  It seemed like a foreign world to me.  I didn’t understand their importance or value they held in the Crossfit community. Then I started competing and watching the Crossfit Games and realized that it is something that truly sets athletes apart-especially women.  I want to be at that level so bad it’s almost this ridiculous pressure I have put on myself.  Its something I know will hold me back if I don’t get them consistently.  There are certain weights and movements that I know are going to appear during competitions that I realize I can always get better and more efficient at, but minus muscle ups there is nothing I just physically cannot do. (At least that is all that I can think of offhand). I may not be the best or fastest at pull ups, double unders, snatches etc., but I can do them.  I wouldn’t just be standing there unable to perform. Muscle ups are something that could ultimately eliminate me from a competition or have me standing for 10 min (whatever the time cap is) staring at the rings.

I know I’ve talked about muscle ups before on here, but they just get to me so much.  I was a hot mess last night working on them. I think I hopped up on the rings at least 15 times and failed every single time. I was so close each time…and each time as I felt like I almost had it, I’d get pumped and start talking myself up, “You can do this Laura, next one is it!” then boom, FAIL! But here is me turning a new leaf.

I want to be a winner. I realize I am going to fail and fail some more and fail more after that, but I will not quit.  I will continue to hop up on those stupid rings until I master those darn muscle ups.  One of my soccer coaches growing up used to say this quote to us, “Never let the fear of failure prevent you from reaching great success”.  I think a lot of people can connect to this quote… Failing sucks, it’s scary, it’s sad, it’s frustrating, it can be devastating, hurtful, embarrassing, but if we all went through life scared we wouldn’t succeed, what would this world be like?

I’m also exactly 2 months away from my competition in December, and I think I’m starting to get a little nervous. It has a lot to do with my competitive side and wanting to be the best =) but I also know it’s because I have to do a version of “Nasty Girls” (CF baseline WOD) which includes 4 rounds of 7 muscle ups.  And I’m so scared that I am going to be the one girl staring up at those rings unable to do them. I don’t want to be that girl. I am going to do everything in my power to absolutely not be that girl.

I have to face this fear. Hop up on those rings every day! Or every other day and make it happen.  I’d like to believe I am an extremely hard worker. When I’m in the Box, going through my program, I give it my all, 110% like my dad used to always say.  There is no in between for me. I even went to a charity event saying to my friends, I’m just going to raise money and support a friend. I don’t have to go all out (because we had just finished with CFD Endurance class and I was pretty smoked). Then I walked in and saw this girl (clearly veteran CFer) that got 4R +?? And right then and there, when the timer went off to end her WOD, I thought to myself, “Whelp, looks like I have to get 5+ rounds) Not even a slight hesitation, I had to do better than her. Call me crazy, call me passionate, call me whatever you’d like but this is just who I am and I don’t think this side of me is going anywhere.  I’m just going to embrace it and try to use it to my advantage.  Muscle ups, I’m coming for you. Ready. Set. Go!


5 Responses to “There is NO Crying in Crossfit!”

  1. Alana October 2, 2012 at 9:51 am #

    It’s not just you. I cried once trying to do pullups. I think sometimes the stress and frustration brings tears, but they’re not because you’re weak, they’re because you’re determined. You got this!!!

  2. Brian H October 2, 2012 at 9:54 am #

    Can’t wait to watch you tear up those Muscle ups, Laura! My “muscle up” right now is the kipping pull-up. Hope to finally get the kip down by the end of the year!

  3. moovin on up October 2, 2012 at 11:40 am #

    “Never let your fear decide your fate”

    Awolnation – Kill Your Heroes

  4. Jenna October 2, 2012 at 12:07 pm #

    Haha, this is just too funny and timely. I just got done crying to Robin at work over a stressful project (first time I have fully cried at work). Afterwards I told her “if you ever have to cry about double unders, I’m here”. That’s teamwork…

    • lmurphy1017 October 2, 2012 at 2:12 pm #

      haha timing is everything! lol I have def cried about double unders too! Teamwork-love it!

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