Bottom line…it sucks!

7 Apr

A week late on this…I let my two little tootsies distract me for a few days.

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But now I’m back to regular life and ready to lay it all out there. And let me say off the bat, it’s not going to be all rainbows and sunshine this time.

I set a goal, an audacious goal. One I really did think was possible…and I did not reach it.

I feel so many different emotions. Most of them came to me throughout the Opens, after week 2 through the end. Hitting me at different times, in different forms, for different reasons. But then they all hit me at once on Tuesday.

Shock. Sadness. Disappointment. Anger. More sadness.

Shock was probably the biggest one. I just had so much faith in myself. I really, truly believed I could do it. And I couldn’t. That hurts.

Sadness was the second most powerful emotion I felt. It came mostly in the form of tears. A lot of them. You may think I’m tough, but I’m a cry baby a lot of the time. It’s just how I express my feelings and I’m okay with that.

After things started to “not look so great” I tried my best to stay positive. I think I succeeded at that. Now that it’s over though I feel that I can let out my true, raw, unfiltered emotions. After going to Regionals the last three years, I am now in “off season” in April. And it sucks. Bottom line.

What now?

What we do with our disappointments, our failures, our bumps in the road, is what makes us who we are.

I know deep down that I did my best. Every second during all of those workouts I did everything I could do get the best score/time I could. And it wasn’t enough.

But that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be proud of what I did accomplish does it? I can only control how I perform. I can’t control anyone else. (and man do I wish I could because there are so bad ass ladies in the North Central region!)

I left it all out there. I trained hard all year. I worked hard throughout the five weeks of the Opens. I hit personal goals along the way. And I’m proud that I can say that.

What do you do when you fall short of something you imagined you could do? Do you sulk? Desire pity from others? Mope around? Make excuses? Or do you face your feelings, reflect on them and move on? Understand and acknowledge what you can do differently, what you can do better, and what you did do great. Learn.

We can’t look back. All we can do is look forward. Learn from our past and make sure our future is exceptional.

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(I thought this was appropriate as I just starting taking a few bikram classes =) More to come on that!)

Until next time…be unstoppable.

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